Arctic Expedition: February 24 - March 3

Clear Lake, Iowa:
My love of snow is all around me today. Actually, the day started with the only thing I love more than snow... Ice. We left St. Louis the night before, and spent the night in Davenport, Iowa. Woke up to the pitter patter of ice hitting the parking lot. This proceeded to allow us to enjoy a 30 mile an hour trip across Iowa. Straight up Ice Capades. Alt-Country Stars On Ice. Crept our way to Clear Lake. The ice turned to snow about 30 miles south of Clear Lake.LOTS of snow. A straight up blizzard. Couldn't see anything but snow, blowing sideways across the windshield. Called the promoter, to see if the show was going on. He said yes. Made it to the Surf Ballroom, a venue that holds 1500 people. 12 showed up. We played to 12 people, in a gigantic, empty, room, got paid in full, and crept back to the hotel, where we got the van stuck in the parking lot. Great day.

Pomeroy, Iowa:
Drove on completely snow packed roads, again, at 30 miles an hour, or less, all the way to Pomeroy, which is 110 miles from Clear Lake. Took almost 4 hours. Pomeroy is in the middle of nowhere. Showed up at the club, to find out they had no power. Byron, the club owner, told us the show was sold out, so, we'd get paid in full, regardless of whether we got to play, or not. Very small consolation, after risking our lives for two days straight, to play for twelve Iowans. Power came on, about a half hour later. The show must go on! People actually showed up. It was a tiny room. He sold 120 tickets, about 50 people braved the blizzard. The room was very crowded with 50 people in it, I'd have hated to be there with 120 in it. The Pomeroynians loved it. It was a great time. Spent the night at the Green Acres motel, in Rockwell City (Pomeroy didn't have a hotel, or, a grocery store...). The motel time forgot. Walk in the door, and it's 1967, with cable TV. Rockwell City was the "Big Town". Tried to have breakfast at a diner that also had a tanning bed in it, but, there was just one girl waiting tables AND cooking. Took too long, so me and John went to the local "Coffee Shop", which was also the dentist's office. Paid a buck and a half, for what was nothing more than a cup of shitty Motel 6 coffee. Hey, helpin' out the "little man". Hope the dentistry was better than the coffee...

Des Moines, Iowa:
Had days off, before, and, after, the Des Moines show, so we set up camp in the very nice hotel, across the street from the club. Think it was called the "Valley West Inn", or, somethin' like that. Nice place, couldn't have normally afforded it, but, we got a special "band rate". Spent the night before the show, programming stupid ringtones into the band cell phone, and watching CMT. The debate raged as to whether Kellie Pickler is better than Carrie Underwood, or, if there's actually enough difference between them, to warrant having both of them in "Hot New Country" (I voted for Kellie Pickler...). Also noticed that our old friend, Jack Ingram, who is now a superstar of "Hot New Country", is currently playing the exact same kinda guitars as Keith Urban, in the exact same colors. What's it mean? What's it show? Show day came, and there was no snow. Sunny day. The show was great. Right Fielder in attendance. Packed house, in a weird little back room of a restaurant/bar, that looked like a tiny hotel banquet hall. Had a great time. We WERE gonna leave the next morning, and head for Minneapolis, but, The Weather Channel was predicting doomsday, so we thought we'd stay in our nice hotel in Des Moines, one more day, and ride the storm out. I spent the afternoon, replacing the bridge saddles on the Trashpicker, with some high-tech Graphtech saddles I bought cheap at a local guitar store. Keith bought an Acoustic Guitar magazine, that had the transcription of "Hotel California" in it. Spent the evening trying to learn the solo. I was Don Felder, Keith was Joe Walsh. Keith won, it's a bitch, trying to be Don Felder. It's a hell of a guitar part. Don Felder deserves to own Neverland...

Minneapolis, Minnesota:
Turns out, the Weather Channel was wrong. Storm didn't hit until TODAY. We left Des Moines very early, and beat most of it, but, when we hit Minnesota, we were right in the middle of Blizzard #2. More sideways snow. Crept into Minneapolis, checked into the hotel, and found out the show had been cancelled. Got paid in full though. Oh well, more time to work on "Hotel California"...

Milwaukee, Wisconsin:
By morning, the snow had ended. Had to clean about a foot of it off the van before we left, but, the highway between Minneapolis and Milwaukee was relatively clear. I was able to drive 65-70 most of the way. Started snowing again, right before we got to Milwaukee. Promoter called, and said the show was on. This was a Will Hoge gig. I don't know a damn thing about Will Hoge. I don't know where he came from, how he got so many girls to love his music, how he affords a big, Prevost tour bus. He is not on any record label. He's a total mystery. I've never, ever, heard of him. It may be the drunken sorority girl in me, but, I think he's pretty damn great. A cool cross of things. The band sounds more like the Faces, or, Humble Pie, but, the show is more like early Springsteen. He's fun to watch. His voice is not unlike Chris Robinson's. It's a pretty cool thing. LOTS of guitar. The only "glitch" in the program, is, I can't remember any of his songs. They're cool when they're goin' down, but, they're not real "hooky". It's good rock though. I like it.The show was great. Rockinmehead sold merch. Sonofdad was in da house. I think some of Will's "chick patrol" actually kinda liked us too. Good gig. Will got us up to do "Simple Man" by Skynyrd, for an encore. A fun, cold, night.

Chicago, Illinois:
Snow flurries this morning. Very welcome, as opposed to sideways blizzard snow. Easy trip into Chicago. Mark stayed with his lady Linda, the rest of us stayed across the street, at our friend Sheila's house. Will Hoge don't get ALL the chicks! First time we played the Double Door in years. Nice, big, crowd. You could tell who came to see who. Lotsa dudes, and lotsa hot, young, drunk, babes. We know, we're the "dudes band". Kind of an alt-country Iron Maiden, if you will... Was supposed to be a "co-bill", but, we got shorted for some reason tonight. They only gave us 60 minutes. Guess the guy with the tour bus, and prettier audience members, wins everytime. Show was good though, we had Haldenspoonwood on merch, Sonofdad, Slop Arm, and Mrs. Slop Arm in the crowd. All the Bloodshot heavyweights were there, as was Amy from Undertow. Will got us up for the Faces "Ooh La La" as an encore. MUCH more fun song to have an all star jam on. After the show, our van was penned in, between a vintage Cadillac, and a tiny sports car, who pulled up and touched our rear bumper. It was 2 AM, I was tired, I was freezing, so, I just put the van in reverse, and shoved the sports car back a foot or two. Hope I didn't hurt it too bad. Had fried bologna at Sheila's, went to bed, left Chicago the next day, and by the time we got to Bloomington, there was no trace of snow. Thank you Lord. I HATE fucking snow...

Brian