Southern Tour: January 19 - February 3

THIS, is the way that it was. From my end, anyway...

With the excitement of a "Southern Vacation" in our future, I didn't mind that the first two shows were in freezing cold, northern cities.

Maumee, Ohio:
Promoter overestimated our popularity in Maumee, Ohio, and booked us in a big movie theater, just down the street from his bar. Needless to say, it was far from "sold out". Had a good show though. Woulda been a mob scene in his bar, but, was a good show in a mostly empty theater. Promoter got good'n drunk, and we ended up having to follow him to his bar to get paid at the end of the night. It was tedious work, but, we emerged unscathed, with payment in hand.
Checked into the hotel he was supposed to be "providing", but, he forgot that HE had to sign the credit card. He was still drunk, back at his bar. Too late to try and track him down. We ate that one, seein' how he took it pretty hard at the box office. He was a giant fan of ours, so, we forgive him, and hope to play his bar in the future.

Sellersville, Pennsylvania:
Another great, "attendance challenged" show at the Sellersville Theater. John Horton's amp blew up. Borrowed one from the opening band, who not only let John take it with him, they also had a member who was an amp repairman, and...they were gonna be playin' with us again in a few days in Raleigh. He took John's amp, to repair it, and they'd swap back in Raleigh. Lucky break fer sure...

Arlington, Virginia:
Iota Cafe is always a great time. Great club + great crowd = great show. Midnight Snack in da house. Blue Plectrum too. Got to see his oh so KILLER Creston guitar. Creston is gettin' better with each guitar.

Charlottesville, Virginia:
Nice club. Good show. Hyphen on merch (THANK YOU!!!) Decent crowd, considering we'd never been there before. Had AWESOME pizza at a place down the street (this non-Atkins behavior would come back to haunt me by the end of the tour...). We're creepin' further south, but it still ain't very warm. In fact, it's really cold. Maybe tomorrow...

Greenville, South Carolina:
It WAS a little warmer. Still cool, but, I'm hopeful. Spent the afternoon at the hotel, rehearsing the details of "The Ballad Of Curtis Lowe". Played it for the first time, correctly, this show (We did it on New Year's Eve, just from memory, we'd forgotten some key elements...). Great club. Good crowd. Good show. Mark's sister, Patty drove down from Asheville. Talked to some guys after the show, who told me Greenville, was the location of Ronnie Van Zant's last show. The plane flew outta there and crashed. I never knew that. They thought we played "Curtis Lowe" as a tribute. It was a totallly random thing. Keith first sang backup with Otis Gibbs at this show.

Raleigh, North Carolina:
It's pretty damn warm outside!!! Upper 50's. THIS is the show we'd been waiting for. Totally packed house. People goin' apeshit crazy. Midnight Snack on merch (THANK YOU!!!). John gets his amp back, to no avail. Won't make a sound, right at showtime. The great guys from the opening band, Tractor Pull, let him take theirs for the rest of the tour, and ship it back to them when he got home. The long lost "Indiana Girls" were at this show. Amazing. Like finding grown up babies you gave up for adoption. Great, magic, evening. One of the best since the album came out.

Columbia, South Carolina:
The "dud" of the tour. Really cold outside. Big club, tiny audience. Coulda had a good show, if we'd had it in the hotel room instead. Soundman was great. Club was kinda cool. The few that WERE there, were enjoying it. I forgot to mention, I had a cold, since the day we left St. Louis. I was feelin' it this night. Kinda sickly. Had dinner at a really mediocre Chinese place. Had a cool looking hotel. Keith was attacked by bedbugs though. They didn't get me. Lucky, random, bed selection on my end. When we left, in the morning, it was even COLDER outside. What's happening here??? Thought we were OVER this shit. Shivering beneath palm trees is SO wrong.

Athens, Georgia:
We're pretty far south now, and, it's pretty fucking cold outside. SO cold, by southern standards, that everybody stayed home. The whole town was dead. Too bad, 'cause it was a great show. Small crowd, but two of the few were Peter Buck, and Patterson Hood. THEY ain't scared of no steenkin' cold weather! Patterson got up and sang "Curtis Lowe", and "Kerosene" with us. Peter Buck told me a great story of a cross-country drive he took, which included a stop in Festus, Missouri. He said he looked in a phone book for my number, but couldn't find it (I haven't lived there for awhile...).
It was funny to think a member of R.E.M. was in Festus, lookin' for my phone number. Really good show, all things considered. We played really well this night. Stage sound was excellent. Weather sucked. Had the best burrito of my LIFE at The Taco Stand (More Anti-Atkins artillery...).

Atlanta, Georgia:
STILL COLD!!! My cold peaked this night. I felt like shit. The soundman never could get the monitors right, whis is a BAD thing if you have a cold. The crowd was great. Too bad I felt so lousy, and had to sing so hard through the shitty monitors. Blew my voice out before the end of the show. This was a rough one for me. Anna Kramer opened the show, and I thought she was great. The most precise trash rock guitarist I'd ever heard. If John Horton ever quits, and, I don't succeed in killin' him for doin' so, and, therefore, don't end up in prison, I'm callin' Anna...

Lake Worth, Florida:
IT'S SUMMERTIME!!!! BEE-YOO-TEE-FULL!!! In the '80's, palm trees EVERYWHERE. Played a "Blooze Club", but, it was great. We each had our own apartments for the night. I had number 8. Never wanted to leave. Never wanted to go to sleep, 'cause I KNEW I'd not see weather like this again, 'til at least June. We had to play quiet, to please the soundman, but, I didn't care. I'm a MUCH happier dude in nice weather. My cold went into complete remission. I was like a new man. Great show, great crowd. The wildest, fully seated, crowd I'd ever played to. Rockin' while reclinin'. I'm down with that, long as they're rockin'...

Tampa, Florida:
Little bit cooler today. Low '70's. I'LL TAKE IT. The killer tornadoes had hit in the night, about 50 miles from where we were. Kinda cloudy, rainy. Cleared up by showtime, which was good, 'cause it was an outdoor venue. Several message board members in the crowd. Too many for me to know all their names. A "two set" venue, so, we played two sets. It went over great. Sold an ASSLOAD of merchandise during the break. Crowd was whipped up and awesome. I do believe Florida has turned around for us. I used to hate playing there. Now, it's great. Florida, the final frontier...

Macon, Georgia:
It's cold again. Florida buzzkill. Cool little club. Nice crowd, but, I think most of 'em were just there to "hang out". We had a few fans though. The elusive Twitcher being one of them. Had two young local girls, who were actually FANS, dance front and center the whole show. That was nice. Made it harder to notice that the whole back of the club was paying no attention at all. Some of our friends from the Allman Brothers organization were at the show. "Catfish", the soundman, was great, and, a damn fine dude. This is the first city that really "felt" like the south to me. I love the south. The south seems less southern these days. Not Macon. It's still there.

Got home, not having had much of a warm "Southern Vacation", but, having had a lot of southern cooking. Stepped on the scale, and had gained 10 pounds. In two weeks. Goodbye Pecan Pie, hello bacon. Been on the Atkins induction phase since I got home. Lost 5 pounds already.

This concludes the southern tour. Upper midwest, will be next.

Stay tuned... Brian

Arctic Expedition: February 24 - March 3

Clear Lake, Iowa:
My love of snow is all around me today. Actually, the day started with the only thing I love more than snow... Ice. We left St. Louis the night before, and spent the night in Davenport, Iowa. Woke up to the pitter patter of ice hitting the parking lot. This proceeded to allow us to enjoy a 30 mile an hour trip across Iowa. Straight up Ice Capades. Alt-Country Stars On Ice. Crept our way to Clear Lake. The ice turned to snow about 30 miles south of Clear Lake.LOTS of snow. A straight up blizzard. Couldn't see anything but snow, blowing sideways across the windshield. Called the promoter, to see if the show was going on. He said yes. Made it to the Surf Ballroom, a venue that holds 1500 people. 12 showed up. We played to 12 people, in a gigantic, empty, room, got paid in full, and crept back to the hotel, where we got the van stuck in the parking lot. Great day.

Pomeroy, Iowa:
Drove on completely snow packed roads, again, at 30 miles an hour, or less, all the way to Pomeroy, which is 110 miles from Clear Lake. Took almost 4 hours. Pomeroy is in the middle of nowhere. Showed up at the club, to find out they had no power. Byron, the club owner, told us the show was sold out, so, we'd get paid in full, regardless of whether we got to play, or not. Very small consolation, after risking our lives for two days straight, to play for twelve Iowans. Power came on, about a half hour later. The show must go on! People actually showed up. It was a tiny room. He sold 120 tickets, about 50 people braved the blizzard. The room was very crowded with 50 people in it, I'd have hated to be there with 120 in it. The Pomeroynians loved it. It was a great time. Spent the night at the Green Acres motel, in Rockwell City (Pomeroy didn't have a hotel, or, a grocery store...). The motel time forgot. Walk in the door, and it's 1967, with cable TV. Rockwell City was the "Big Town". Tried to have breakfast at a diner that also had a tanning bed in it, but, there was just one girl waiting tables AND cooking. Took too long, so me and John went to the local "Coffee Shop", which was also the dentist's office. Paid a buck and a half, for what was nothing more than a cup of shitty Motel 6 coffee. Hey, helpin' out the "little man". Hope the dentistry was better than the coffee...

Des Moines, Iowa:
Had days off, before, and, after, the Des Moines show, so we set up camp in the very nice hotel, across the street from the club. Think it was called the "Valley West Inn", or, somethin' like that. Nice place, couldn't have normally afforded it, but, we got a special "band rate". Spent the night before the show, programming stupid ringtones into the band cell phone, and watching CMT. The debate raged as to whether Kellie Pickler is better than Carrie Underwood, or, if there's actually enough difference between them, to warrant having both of them in "Hot New Country" (I voted for Kellie Pickler...). Also noticed that our old friend, Jack Ingram, who is now a superstar of "Hot New Country", is currently playing the exact same kinda guitars as Keith Urban, in the exact same colors. What's it mean? What's it show? Show day came, and there was no snow. Sunny day. The show was great. Right Fielder in attendance. Packed house, in a weird little back room of a restaurant/bar, that looked like a tiny hotel banquet hall. Had a great time. We WERE gonna leave the next morning, and head for Minneapolis, but, The Weather Channel was predicting doomsday, so we thought we'd stay in our nice hotel in Des Moines, one more day, and ride the storm out. I spent the afternoon, replacing the bridge saddles on the Trashpicker, with some high-tech Graphtech saddles I bought cheap at a local guitar store. Keith bought an Acoustic Guitar magazine, that had the transcription of "Hotel California" in it. Spent the evening trying to learn the solo. I was Don Felder, Keith was Joe Walsh. Keith won, it's a bitch, trying to be Don Felder. It's a hell of a guitar part. Don Felder deserves to own Neverland...

Minneapolis, Minnesota:
Turns out, the Weather Channel was wrong. Storm didn't hit until TODAY. We left Des Moines very early, and beat most of it, but, when we hit Minnesota, we were right in the middle of Blizzard #2. More sideways snow. Crept into Minneapolis, checked into the hotel, and found out the show had been cancelled. Got paid in full though. Oh well, more time to work on "Hotel California"...

Milwaukee, Wisconsin:
By morning, the snow had ended. Had to clean about a foot of it off the van before we left, but, the highway between Minneapolis and Milwaukee was relatively clear. I was able to drive 65-70 most of the way. Started snowing again, right before we got to Milwaukee. Promoter called, and said the show was on. This was a Will Hoge gig. I don't know a damn thing about Will Hoge. I don't know where he came from, how he got so many girls to love his music, how he affords a big, Prevost tour bus. He is not on any record label. He's a total mystery. I've never, ever, heard of him. It may be the drunken sorority girl in me, but, I think he's pretty damn great. A cool cross of things. The band sounds more like the Faces, or, Humble Pie, but, the show is more like early Springsteen. He's fun to watch. His voice is not unlike Chris Robinson's. It's a pretty cool thing. LOTS of guitar. The only "glitch" in the program, is, I can't remember any of his songs. They're cool when they're goin' down, but, they're not real "hooky". It's good rock though. I like it.The show was great. Rockinmehead sold merch. Sonofdad was in da house. I think some of Will's "chick patrol" actually kinda liked us too. Good gig. Will got us up to do "Simple Man" by Skynyrd, for an encore. A fun, cold, night.

Chicago, Illinois:
Snow flurries this morning. Very welcome, as opposed to sideways blizzard snow. Easy trip into Chicago. Mark stayed with his lady Linda, the rest of us stayed across the street, at our friend Sheila's house. Will Hoge don't get ALL the chicks! First time we played the Double Door in years. Nice, big, crowd. You could tell who came to see who. Lotsa dudes, and lotsa hot, young, drunk, babes. We know, we're the "dudes band". Kind of an alt-country Iron Maiden, if you will... Was supposed to be a "co-bill", but, we got shorted for some reason tonight. They only gave us 60 minutes. Guess the guy with the tour bus, and prettier audience members, wins everytime. Show was good though, we had Haldenspoonwood on merch, Sonofdad, Slop Arm, and Mrs. Slop Arm in the crowd. All the Bloodshot heavyweights were there, as was Amy from Undertow. Will got us up for the Faces "Ooh La La" as an encore. MUCH more fun song to have an all star jam on. After the show, our van was penned in, between a vintage Cadillac, and a tiny sports car, who pulled up and touched our rear bumper. It was 2 AM, I was tired, I was freezing, so, I just put the van in reverse, and shoved the sports car back a foot or two. Hope I didn't hurt it too bad. Had fried bologna at Sheila's, went to bed, left Chicago the next day, and by the time we got to Bloomington, there was no trace of snow. Thank you Lord. I HATE fucking snow...

Brian

Midwest Part 1: February 16 & 17

Here's more...

Champaign, Illinois:
Snow. I HATE snow. I don't even like to look at pictures of snow. Well... We had snow. Bob, our manager, lives in Champaign, and informed us he had 18 inches of snow in his front yard. Bad, yes. But... it was SNOWING when we got to Champaign. now on top of snow. Loaded in to the club, in THE SNOW, did a soundcheck, and went to dinner with Bob (I was straight up Atkins. 8 oz. sirloin, steamed broccoli...). Came back to the club, in THE SNOW (Downtown Champaign looked like Bedford Falls. I was expecting to see Jimmy Stewart running frantically down the street...), and the place was packed! Great crowd. The High Dive, in Champaign is one of my favorite clubs in America. Always turns into a rock show at this place. This night was no exception. Blunt Object in da house, millbilly on merch (THANK YOU!!!). Great gig. Then, we loaded out... in the snow...

Neenah, Wisconsin:
Considerably farther north than Champaign, but, considerably warmer, and, considerably less snow. Very nice. We pull up to the club, and find out it's a Pizza parlor. Yikes. Has it come to THIS??? Walk to the front door, and there's a big sign that says "SOLD OUT". Hmmmm... Get inside, and don't see a stage. Just a TINY bar, and, in the next room, a pizza restaurant. Everyone in the place is treating us like kings. Instantly offering us drinks, food, whatever. Turns out, there's another room, with a stage in the corner, and at 9 o'clock, they take all the tables out, close the doors leading into it, which seals it off from the restaurant. THEN, they have a retracting wall, that opens up into the tiny bar, creating a L-shaped room, with the stage at the corner of the "L". VERY clever! Anyway... THIS WAS THE BEST SHOW SINCE ZOYSIA WAS RELEASED!!! Just incredible. You could not have squeezed another body in there. People goin' wild. Guys jumpin' up and down, girls trying to dance between the guys jumping up and down. Every person in there knew all of our songs. We were getting requests from every album. Just amazing. It totally reminded me of old Uncle Tupelo shows, in Cicero's basement bar. Right down to the smell of pizza in the air. Just incredible. Neenah, Wisconsin. Go figure.

I can't help but think of all the shitty shows we've had, over the years, and how many times we drove past Neenah, Wisconsin, on our way to some MUCH smaller, FAR less appreciative audience. Neenah, we love you. Wisconsin is also a VERY Atkins-friendly state...

More midwest to come in the near future.
Stay tuned...
Brian

Zoysia Tour Round 1: June 9 - 21

Saint Louis - The Duck Room
MAGNIFICENT! Record setting merch night. Thanks everybody!

Chicago - Beat Kitchen
Also magnificent. Unseasonably cold that night. Was great to see big Gary on his feet again.

Detroit
Shockingly better than I expected. What's up with that? Even had a decent hotel.

Toronto - Lee's Place
Very fun. Worth the slightly complex border crossing. John Horton got called into the principal's office. They knew about his "coke charge". Apparently, he stole a 12 pack of Coca Cola in the '80's. It okay though, Canada considers him rehabilitated. Thanks to "sbeirnes", and his lovely lady, for doin' merch that night. Became addicted to the evil Tim Horton's Maple Frosted donut, and, had a bird shit on me outside the club. Jeff From Canada scraped it off with his credit card. Canada rocks!

Pittsburgh - Club Cafe
Awesome! How'd THIS happen? Thanks Pittsburgh! Thanks to the nice folks who sold merch. Sorry, I don't remember your names.

Hoboken - Maxwell's
Good one. Shocking appearance by our first manager, and Wilco's current manager, Tony Margherita. He helped me carry my guitars onstage. Our good friend on the board "nelgin" began her reign of "merchandising terror" upon the greater NYC area.

New York - Mercury Lounge
Fabulous! One of my favorites. "nelgin" pried the dollars from the New Yorkers again, then, helped us carry our equipment out. How awesome is that? Mark Spencer and Bill Bonanzinga in da house. Ate way too much all through the day, and slept way too little on Mark Spencer's coma-inducing couch.

Boston - Harper's Ferry
Not a bad gig, all things considered. Not my favorite club in Boston. Stage sound kinda sucked, but not bad enough to flat out ruin things. "Quarryman", and "Stegman" helped with the load out. Thanks guys! Bought a falafel from the place across the street, that cost 3 bucks, and weighed about 50 pounds. Also became addicted to the Dunkin' Donuts blueberry cake donut around this time. The east coast was my Atkins vacation.

Sellersville, PA - Sellersville Theatre
Nice little theater, in the middle of nowhere. Sounded great in there. Probably shoulda played in Philly, but, it was a nice gig.

Arlington - IOTA
Night 1: Great! Large, rowdy crowd. Met "Blue Plectrum". "hyphen" sold merch this night. Thanks! Was a 24 hour pizza joint by the hotel. That was convenient.

Arlington Night 2: "Blue Plectrum" on merch tonight. Thank you sir! Good crowd, but, they seemed tired, compared to the first night. Still a good time. More 24 hour pizza after the show. Atkins vacation, woo hoo!

Asheville, NC
Smallish, but, WAY enthusiastic crowd. Made for a great time. Had some competition from the Old 97's across town. They pretty much pulled away all the chicks. Young chicks normally dig bands who look like their dads, but, Rhett Miller is just SO hot. Girls, I forgive you. I'd be after him myself, if I wasn't already married...